Sermons

The Five Books of Flora
Erev Rosh HaShanah 5771
by Rabbi Sim Glaser

When folks ask me what breed my dog Flora is, I say: “bad” - she’s a bad dog. “No”, they say, I mean “what breed?”, and I say - that’s the breed. Bad. No one ever believes that, nor should they. Technically Flora is not a purebred “Bad”. She’s a mutt, she’s part bad, part untrainable, part difficult, part disobedient, part infuriating, part anxious, part insecure.

Not that we haven’t tried to do something about it. We hired a dog trainer – Max, the Minnesota Dog Whisperer (yes there is one) - who had some very good advice. Flora didn’t entirely care for some of it, though she improved. What did happen is that Barb and I learned a lot about dogs and maybe even more about people. It turns out dog training is really “people training”. Who knew?

I know what you’re thinking. Rabbi G has resorted to talking about his dog for sermon material. He must be bone dry!

But no, tonight I’d like to share with you some important insights I gained in dog training, which I like to call: The Five Books of Flora.

Here is Lesson One - Believe in your task!

Whatever we set out to do this year, if we are going to do it, we should make sure we believe in it. What do I mean by this?

A mysterious problem developed with Flora. I would be taking her for a walk, and we’d get to a certain block and she would stop dead in her tracks. I would tug her, beg her, bribe her, but Flora the dog would not budge. When I tried to get her to continue she would start growling and attempt to climb up my leg, I kid you not. Neighbors laughed at me. I got angry. But at that point there was nothing to do but to reverse course and take her back home.

So I asked Max our dog trainer: why is Flora doing this? And he said, well, you see, Flora never really wanted to go on the walk to begin with and neither did you. I was shocked. Yes, he said, you both have to get it clear from the time you leave the house that you really do want to go on that walk. If you are not on the same page, she won’t go for it. She’s gotta know you’re invested. You’re the leader, and if she doesn’t think you’re into it, she isn’t going to see it through.

Sure enough, the next time we set out walking I stopped at the door as we were leaving, made sure Flora knew it was time for the walk, looked her in the eyes and then we set out. No problems from then on.

So what did I learn from this? If you intend to lead, to set forth with a plan, or to get someone to follow you, make sure you believe in what you’re doing and convey this. If you think you can fool people with a false message, you are crazy. And if you are attempting to instill a value or lesson in a child, a peer, a co-worker, a congregant, and you haven’t bought in yourself, you may want to find yourself a new message. People, and animals as it turns out, know when you mean business.

The great Rabbi Hillel, a leader and scholar of the Jewish people demonstrated his desire to learn from the first day he came to class – he sat atop the roof in the falling snow to hear the words of the teacher. They had no doubt that young Hillel meant business. It is also the case in our relationships with our selves too. If you intend to become something, or to achieve something this year, make sure you really believe in it for yourself.

Lesson Two - Get over it!

We now live near Lake Harriet and were really excited about the idea of walking our dog by the lake. Imagine our disappointment when we discovered that Flora was too anxious with all the other dogs and bicyclists and roaring motorbikes and joggers and the squirrels and the rabbits. Flora would lose control and have skirmishes with other dogs and it could get nasty, and then, as we would walk on, it could take me a half hour or more to get over the incident. I’d be embarrassed or fuming, or replaying how I might have controlled it better, or remarking to Flora what an evil animal she was. Max noted, as we walked lakeside one day, that while we keep stewing about it, Flora had forgotten about the incident within seconds of its passing. She moved on.

Hmmm, I thought, so can we. There are amazingly challenging things that happen to us, and on some level we hang onto them like they have tatooed their essence into our weary hearts. But we can pick ourselves up and journey forward. Indeed we have to! This is an important lesson of the yamim noraim, the high holy days. Let it go.

I know there are those of you out there who have found it difficult, if not impossible to find it in your hearts to forgive someone who has wronged you. But Judaism teaches us that if we are unable to forgive then we might want to consider belonging to another species. God loves change and treasures the penitent person. We get a chance each year to let things go and begin to live again. If my fershtunkeneh dog can move on, why can’t I?

Rabbi Hillel again comes to mind. When teased or obnoxiously challenged by his students, he remained calm, with a pleasant expression and sense of humor and gently responded to his students. His counterpart, Rabbi Shammai would smack his repugnant students with a ruler. To this day the laws of Hillel predominate in our tradition.

Lesson Three - Remain calm in turbulent times…

One of the most interesting lessons from the Five Books of the Flora was the importance of remaining calm in difficult times.

So Flora and I’d be coming around a corner and I could see that another dog was coming, and the potential for a doggie conflict. I would tense up, Flora would tense up, and sure enough the dogs would lock horns. (Sorry for the inept metaphor). Max cautioned us - The last thing you want to do to calm your dog is to be uptight yourself. Her anxiety is real, but she is reading off yours too. Dogs are not responding nearly as much to verbal cues as we’d like to believe. They are responding to our energy.

Interestingly enough, people also do not respond exclusively to verbal cues. Our manner, the edge to our voices, our own anxious gestures are hugely communicated. The look in our eyes. Our smiles.

It is a proven fact that when there is a serious crisis in a workplace or a school, or in the military and someone starts screaming about what needs to be done, that person is not generally heeded by those in the midst of the chaos. Rather, it is the calm and considered response that will be followed. It is the cool head that will rule the moment.

We live in complex times, in a complicated world. There are fear mongers screeching at us from every corner of the media, playing off of our uncertainty and trying to get us to act out of fear. We should seek out the calm and thoughtful voices in our worlds, and if we ourselves are called upon to react we should make our responses calculated and steady.

Our fight and flight response might be a more ancient animalistic form of reaction to danger and threat, Flora comes by that honestly, but we human beings have evolved beyond that, and we should use our human minds to face adversity with less spleen and more thinking. Children, friends, dogs, are all depending on us to be mature and measured in the way we confront difficulties large or small.

The rabbis in Pirkei Avot – The Sayings of the Fathers – asked the question: Who is strong? And they answered: it is the person who can control the bad things in themselves. Self control is a beautiful value for a world in which we are constantly tempted, angered, beckoned, and lobbied by people who demand that we feel or act a certain way.  Rosh Hashanah is a good time to get centered. To say: I know who I am and I don’t have to react to everything that flies at me.

Lesson Four - You Don’t Have to Control Everything

The Five Books of Flora teaches that we do not need to feel as though we must control everybody and everything all the time.

When other dogs went out of control, Flora raced to join the ruckus. Barking and yapping and going doggie meshugah. Why oh why, I asked Max, can’t she just let it be? Why is she running over to the out-of-control dogs and barking at them? Max said that Flora’s anxiety makes her feel the need to control the chaos. She sees things out of whack and she has to make order. Obviously she can’t do that, but she doesn’t know it.

We should know this, however. We know we cannot solve all the problems of the world, but the sages asked us to try in small doses to better the world around us.

Lo alecha ham’lacha ligmor, v’lo ata ben horin l’hibatel mimena. It is not up to us to finish the task, but neither are we free to desist from doing something. Both parts of this are important, being responsible, but also understanding that if we think we can solve all the problems before us we will drive ourselves crazy. If we believe we have to feel the pain of every person and issue we encounter we will become fatigued. Choose your battles, identify your causes. Know where your strengths can be most effective. And share tikkun olam – repair of the world – with the rest of humankind.

And finally,

Lesson Five - Everyone has a sweet side

Like many pets you all have, and people whom you know, I am sure, our “bad dog” Flora has more than one aspect to her character. Yes, outside, in the presence of anxiety provoking stimuli, she can be a monster, but in the relative quiet of our home Flora cuddles and purrs and plays peacefully indoors.  She also sits and waits until she is told she can eat her supper or go for that treat. She loves to be petted and has a special affinity for Hannah’s down quilt. Sometimes I look at this version of the dog and say she simply cannot be the same animal as the Lake Harriet Hound of Horror. But she is.

It isn’t too different in the human species world. When we feel inclined to judge another, or label someone a “bad dog”, it is important to remember that everyone has their sweet side, even if they might have trouble making it readily evident. Before we label someone foolish, or ignorant, or mean-spirited we might also pause to recognize that when you get to know someone well, it isn’t long before you see their gifts and talents. Flora, for example, is beautifully inspirational when she bounds through the forest playfully with the grace and gate of a deer. She gives Barb and me even greater appreciation of the blessing of time to hike along the paths of the Superior Hiking Trails.

Every one of us has a special gift, a purpose, and a uniqueness, as the great book of Jewish mysticism, the Zohar, teaches, If there were no specific purpose for our being here there would be no reason for our having been created.

Even Flora.  Canine ahora.

You know, one important lesson I learned from all this that I forgot to mention is the importance of reaching out for help when you’re desperate. There are a lot of incredibly talented, helpful people out there who can make your life more manageable. As a matter of fact, I see that Max our trainer is here! So, Max, how did I do?

(Max the Minnesota Dog Whisperer stands up and waves – and then says: “Good Rabbi! Now Sit!” Rabbi sits.)